Happy Birthday, Dumbass

Today I wrote a few hundred words to my former self - a boy who’d just turned 16.

He’d just been put into “residential treatment” at Daniels Academy after finishing wilderness therapy. It was his first birthday away from home - and one of the hardest days of his life.

Here’s what I wish I could have told him.

Dear Fritz,

Everything sucks right now. I know.

You’ve been ripped away from your home in the middle of the night. You’ve been marched around the wilderness - you’ve had to hold your hand out from behind a bush so that staff could see you, even when you were taking a dump. Humiliating!

Your parents first told you that you weren’t allowed to come home after that ordeal. Then? They kept you in the hell that is wilderness therapy for an extra two weeks so they could win some stupid lawsuit with your school district.

They BETRAYED you - they ABANDONED you!

Now, you’re stuck in that stupid yellow house, forced to do a bunch of things you don’t want to do. Staff are always watching, controlling you, ordering you around. Limiting your screen time to an hour a day - on the Xbox! Everything is just terrible.

Brother, I still remember when I asked myself… “How could life get any worse?”

Let me ask you something, though. Were you happier before all of this happened?

Things were easier for us in many ways, sure… fewer responsibilities - unlimited screen time - easy access to porn. You could eat & drink essentially whatever you wanted.

There was little structure around your time - no need to clean your room or do your laundry - and you could just walk out of school & hike home when it was all too much.

But were you happier? I don’t think you were, even if it seems like it right now.

The screaming matches with dad every time he asked you to do something or to put away your laptop. The unending, irreparable loneliness that came with being a social outcast at school.

Being shoved into a “TA” role for a special education classroom because they didn’t know what else to do with a brilliant, stubborn, & weird kid? Staring into the void - feeling inches away from making all that pain just END. (Post Continues Below)